“And little by little darkness becomes just a small shadow behind your light."
Do you ever have the feeling that your life seems diverse, beautiful and inspiring from the outside, but inside you feel completely lost? If so, I can relate because I felt the exact same way.
The life that I built for myself no longer gave me fulfillment and although I put on a smile day in and day out... I continued to feel empty, tired, dissatisfied and sad.
Although I wouldn't define my life as a "complete failure", I just KNEW something fundamental was missing but couldn't quite determine what it was. It was in that moment, where my dedicated search for the light began.
In a nutshell, I emigrated from Germany to Gran Canaria when I was just 13 and spent 16 long and exciting years there. Like most of us, I've experienced lots of ups and down, however I definitely feel blessed with the life I've been given.
I became very independent from an early age and often looked for change and new adventure, both professionally and personally. At 28, I flew to Australia . There, we drove our converted camper VW bus, Vicky, through the most diverse forests and landscapes, slept under what was probably the brightest starry sky in the desert, practiced yoga on numerous beaches along the entire east coast and experienced the greatest adventures in the most colorful cities. Along this unforgettable journey, I was able to turn my passion into a job and managed to tattoo hundreds of incredibly inspiring people along the way. I was living my dream--as we traveled for 8 months in a foreign place with just a backpack and a trusted Van.
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Apart from my physical well-being, I became so enveloped by inner harmony and peace.
5 months after I was back from Thailand, I decided to pack my backs and make the difficult decision to move to Berlin. Although I was aware that I had to cultivate happiness on the inside, I was also aware that with a heavy heart I had to let go before i could grab new things. I knew that I would neither get out of my comfort zone nor grow in Gran Canaria, so I decided to start over from scratch.
What happened next was magical. As soon as I arrived in Berlin, everything fell into total alignment! I was finally able to focus completely on myself and grow on a spiritual level. I started practicing yoga and meditation every day. I surrounded myself with people who shared the same values as me. I could literally feel the energy and so, bit by bit, I attracted everything I dreamed of and more. Everyone told me how lucky I was, but I knew it had nothing to do with luck. It was the result you get when you follow your heart, no matter how difficult it is sometimes.
Listening to your heart is not always such an easy task and involves a lot of attention, dedication, and work-- but is often the foundation of a truly fulfilling and balanced life. It is the path towards reaching and unleashing your deep, inner light.
On my personal journey, I initially felt very alone and misunderstood, whereupon I made it my mission to accompany others on their own unique and non-linear journeys. Thanks to inspiring people, different methods and healing tools, I was able to uncover my true nature as well as a noticeable sense of balance. I have learned to let my heart speak and to use my unique light as a guiding light for others, so that the way inwards becomes easier, because none of us should have to walk this path alone. I want to offer you a place of security and understanding. It is my mission to inspire and accompany you while you discover your true purpose so that you too can shine with all of your heart and become the guiding light to others.
Let’s unearth the light within you!
Eventually, our long-winded journey and time in Australia came to an end.
During the last few days of our trip, I came to realize that I didn't miss my previous life and wasn't ready to ravel back "home" just yet. Instead, I made the intuitive decision to stop in Thailand and complete my yoga teacher training there. Up until that point in my life, my relationship with yoga was purely physical. I loved the balance and the rapid development that I cultivated through the poses. But, I longed for more. I wanted to get to know my physical limits on a deeper level and to understand what really lay behind each exercise. 90 minutes in a studio wasn't enough for me. But, what happened next, is something I would've never expected-- which was that the art and practice of yoga quickly became the core philosophy of my life.
The time in Thailand was breathtaking and was the icing on the cake of my last 9 months abroad. Amidst being there, I realized a newfound comfort. I began to see the world with completely different eyes.
I was shown new possibilities and perspectives that made so much sense to me. The philosophy lessons with our crazy Dutch teacher about the universal truth, the karma, our ego and a long etc, couldn't go long enough and apart from my physical well-being, I became so enveloped by inner harmony and peace. I could reflect on hundreds of "AHA" moments from which I learned so much, but I think that would be a bit beyond the scope of this post.
Throughout my yoga teacher training, I learned that my constant yearning for change and adventure was tied to the realization that I was out of alignment with my true inner nature. I realized that I'd constantly looked to the external for what I could only find inside of me and so, I began to unearth the courage to look for the truth of who I was and what I have to share with the World. 33 remarkable days later, I was back on the plane. I shed tears of both sadness and joy in anticipation of seeing my loved ones. I was so excited to share everything that I'd experienced over the past few months.
As soon as I arrived home, a harsh reality smacked me in the face. It was as if I had only been dreaming for the last 9 months and then suddenly awakened by a bucket of shockingly cold water. After only a short period of being back home, nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Although everything around me was the same, I felt that I'd changed so much. I tried so hard to stick to what I'd just learned and to incorporate these practices into my everyday life. Unfortunately, my plan slipped straight through my own hands. I had little work, my planned projects didn't go as I wished, I could hardly teach yoga and worst of all, I felt so alone. My partner and friends listened to and supported me, but still... I didn't feel understood. Most people in my life thought it was "just a phase" and that I would get used to life on the islands again, but I didn't want that at all. I didn't want to go back to my old life. Those shoes just didn't fit anymore.
